Chat reblogged from You said to "be cool" but I'm already coolest. with 42,147 notes
i cybered on omegle today
- You: hi
- Stranger: hey
- You: wanna cyber
- Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
- You: ya
- Stranger: And okay then, you start?
- You: i come into ur bedroom
- You: and ur sleeping
- You: and i crawl under your blanket
- Stranger: I'm still asleep
- You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
- You: and u wake up and smile
- Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
- You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
- You: cutting off your penis
- Stranger: wait
- You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
- Stranger: Then what...?
- You: I HATE YOU
- Stranger: I didn't cheat
- You: you bleed to death in your bed
- Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
- You: nobody ever knows what happened
- You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
- You: the end
- Stranger: I have a mercedes?
- You: not anymore faggot
- Your conversation partner has disconnected.
Source: pizzaforpresident
Post reblogged from Freshness is Abundance with 5,668 notes
well if you wanted
that’s all you had to say
Source: pedicone-stole-my-url
Photo reblogged from You said to "be cool" but I'm already coolest. with 3,595 notes
Source: tynonymous
Photo reblogged from My friends call me Kronos... with 31,506 notes
“NOW, BABY BROTHER, HOLD MY HAND WHILE WE CROSS THE STREET.”
“Thor, stop that. I’m an adult.”
“HOLD MY HAND, BROTHER.”
“I’m not your brother.”
“HOLD MY HAND.”
“Fine.
“HALT DEAR BROTHER—I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THE PROPER ACTION BEFORE CROSSING A MIDGARDIAN STREET IS TO LOOK BOTH WAYS. ALLOW ME TO DO SO FOR THE BOTH OF US.”
“Thor, every mode of transportation these pathetic humans have created would only bruise us at best—”
“THAT IS NOT THE POINT, BROTHER. AS GODS IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THE YOUNGER GENERATION!”
“How many times must I remind you that such sentimental nonsense will have no sway over my decisions?”
“THINK OF THE MIDGARDIAN CHILDREN, BROTHER!”
“…”
“…”
“…THE CHILDREN!”
Source: jillypooh
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